Very unfair :(
Anyway, here's an almost entirely-unrelated story about giants.
042 – Standing Still
The day the mountain woke up, I was sitting on the top of
it. Perhaps mountain is a grand word to describe it, but it was the tallest
hill for miles around. Climbing it took an hour or more, but the view was
spectacular; you could see our village, the next village over, the town fifteen
miles away, the forest, lake, fields… everything.
I climbed the mountain most days, and it amused me to watch
out-of-towners puffing and panting their way up. Even my friends had trouble
with it sometimes, and none of them could climb it as well as me. It was
important work, too. Someone had to be the lookout. That’s what grandpa Jack
always told me.
Suddenly, the rock under me flicked to one side and I was
thrown off it. I fell into the grass, skinning my knee. The pain was an instant
heat on my skin. My hat had gone one way, I’d gone another, and the boulder
that I’d been sat on was still again.
I moved closer, watching carefully. Then, pretty stupidly in
hindsight, I gave the boulder a good hard kick.
It hurt, of course. That’s what happens when you kick rocks.
But the entire mountain started to quiver and shake, and it was all I could do
to stop myself falling over again. Was it an earthquake? Was the world ending?
The shaking got harder, and then the entire mountain was moving forwards at
incredible speed.
An enormous hand attached to an even bigger arm, both
looking like they were made of stone, soared up and over. I curled up in a ball
and waited for the end, but then I was moving, and I opened one eye to see that
the hand had picked me up.
I looked out from the hand, its chubby fingers gently
cupping me, to see that the arm was attached to the mountain, and without
thinking I looked down. The ground was so far beneath me that the people looked
like ants, and I grabbed hold of the enormous thumb to keep from losing my
balance.
On the side of the mountain I could see a cave that I often
hid in; the cave was opening and closing, and above it two more caves were
opening. No, not caves; eyes. The mouth, for that was all it could be, opened
and closed a few more times and then the eyes, perfect gemstones, focused on
me.
I felt tiny.
“Ouch,” the mountain said. “That hurt.” The voice echoed
around the hilltops, booming, filling every part of me. The mountain’s breath
buffeted me, smelling of old caves and dirt.
I gaped. I stared. My mind was blank. The mountain spoke
again. “Not a very good hiding place, perhaps. We thought we could just stand
still; you know, cover ourselves in grass and rocks. We might not be found for
ages.”
“You’re a…” I began, then tailed off.
“Still, I reckon it’s worked. I’ve given him the slip.” The
giant figure yawned, sending chunks of dirt and grass showering down onto the
village below. “Standing still that long is hard work.”
“How long have you been hiding here?”
The giant’s head turned towards the sun and he shaded his
eyes with his hand. “Perhaps… a hundred years. Long enough that the malicious
man chasing me is dead and gone.
The giant took a few wobbly steps, carefully stepping over
houses and roads, still holding me in its hand. The force of each shuddering
footstep bounced me up and down, and shook more dirt off of the giant’s
disguise. I could see that he was fat, blue skinned, with lines and whirls in a
lighter blue all over him like tattoos. His hair, which for centuries we had
been mistaking for a meadow, was dark green. Mountain goats had, at least, kept
it cropped short for him. I realised he looked young, perhaps a child.
“Who was chasing you?”
“An evil man. He killed my grandfather, stole from us, lived
in our house for a few years and everything. All completely unprovoked.”
I clung on to his thumb as each step bounced me closer to
the edge of his hand. “Now what are you going to do?”
The giant grinned. “Wake up my brothers and sisters. I was
the last one to hide myself, so I know where they all are.” His face turned
serious again. “It was the only way, you know. Jack was going to kill us all.
But now, he’s dead, and we’re all alive…”
With a rising sense of horror, I watched as the giant threw
back his head and bellowed. The sound, louder than a jet engine, was surely
heard up and down the entire country. Windows shattered below us with the force
of it. Then it was over, though the echoes carried on for some seconds
afterwards.
Then I saw movement. Far off in the distance, the forest was
shaking. Then it sat up, the soil and trees falling off its back from where the
giant had been crouched. Much closer, the edges of the lake came together and
there was a swallowing sound. When the mouth opened again, the lake water was
gone and another giant was clambering to its feet. I looked around to see five,
ten, fifteen giants within eyeshot, all stretching or yawning or scratching
themselves.
“You see,” the giant holding me said, “Jack’s dead now, and
this is giant country…”
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